IMMANUAL KANT WAS A REAL PISSANT
        WHO WAS VERY RARELY STABLE
HEIDEGGER, HEIDEGGER WAS A BOOZY BEGGAR
        WHO COULD THINK YOU UNDER THE TABLE
DAVID HUME COULD OUT CONSUME SCHOPENHAUER AND HAGEL
        AND WITTGENSTEIN WAS A BEERY SWINE
        WHO WAS JUST A SCLOSHED AS SCHLAGEL
THERE'S NOTHING NEITZSCHE COULDNT TEACH YA
        'BOUT THE RAISING OF THE WRIST
SOCRATIES HIMSELF WAS PERMANENTLY PISSED

JOHN STUART MILL, OF HIS OWN FREE WILL
        HAD HALF A PINT OF SHANDY, WAS PARTICULARLY ILL
PLATO THEY SAY COULD STICK IT AWAY
        HALF A CRATE OF WHISKY EVERY DAY
ARISTOTLE, ARISTOTLE WAS A BUGGER FOR THE BOTTLE
        HOBBES WAS FOND OF HIS DRAM
AND RENE DESCARTES WAS A DRUNKEN FART
        I DRINK THEREFORE I AM
NOW SOCRATIES HIMSELF IS PARTICULARLY MISSED
        A LOVELY LITTLE THINKER
        BUT A BUGGER WHEN HE'S PISSED